How important is it to allow yourself to feel your negative emotions?
When I was a kid, it was not considered a good thing to be sad, to cry or to get angry. Many children are taught, right from the start, (not necessarily consciously) that they are to avoid their negative emotions. “Crying is for cry babies”, or ” boys don’t cry” or the child gets a timeout if they are upset and have a tantrum, which can send the message that their anger is unacceptable.
When I first started practising the Law of Attraction, I became very aware of any kind of negative emotion that I felt. LOA teaches us that like attracts like. It teaches us that like a radio tower, we send out a signal and then we receive back the thing to which we are an energetic match to. The essence of who you are in that moment will attract situations or experiences that are a like energy. So, whatever we put out, we get back. It teaches us the importance of feeling good, positive thinking, keeping our thoughts positively focused upon the things we want. Raising your vibration is all about feeling good. So, learning about this led me to think that what I have got to do is make sure that I always feel good. So, I did that, quite religiously, and then things starting happening…like, I would have a car accident or someone would be rude to me or something would break… and these little things would really annoy me and cause me to have quite a negative reaction about them , and where I would have started the day off feeling quite good and positive about myself, an incident like this would result in me actually feeling rather shitty. So, then I would ask myself, why I attracted something like this to happen? when I was all sunshine and roses before I got on the road. When this happens, it can easily lead us into a downward spiral of worries and more negative emotion.
So, things continued like this for me for a while. I would try my hardest to feel good and stay positive and then I would end up annoyed at someone or something or I would worry myself sick about something, get angry or frustrated. Negative emotion strikes again! Damn it and I was doing so well with my happy shiny outlook on life. I would feel an intense amount of pressure to stay feeling happy and then feel like all my efforts in doing that were wasted by my outburst and now I have to start from scratch! Because of course my vibration has taken a huge nose dive.
There can be such an enormous amount of pressure to feel good all the time…(I mean , after all, how else are you going to manifest that Ferrari , right?) that you think to yourself, I must avoid all negativity…including other people’s. I would dread seeing a negative post on social media, hoping it does not end up tipping my vibrational scales. My positivity shield would go up and then comes the judgment towards others freely expressing their negative experiences or emotions. I realised how narcissistic this was.
I soon learnt the very harsh lesson, that I had to accept that I was never going to be 100 percent clear of my negative emotions..even after years of immense inner work. Now, I am not saying, there isn’t any point in doing the inner work. Your work towards releasing beliefs that don’t serve you will still be beneficial. But what I will tell you is that, our negative emotions are our friends because without them, how are we supposed to know which aspects of ourselves still need to be healed? You will find that the more you work on allowing your negative emotions and then doing the work to release the associated beliefs, the normal range of your emotional vibration for the lower end of the spectrum could may well just sit between frustration or a slight annoyance whereas, before, it may have been more normal for you to have experiences that caused you to feel hopeless and depressed. You wont get as many negative experiences and therefore you will mostly just feel awesome. Imagine, how awesome it would be, to just mostly feel awesome and then your awesomeness just attracts more awesomeness which you feel awesome about and then your awesome feelings just bring more awesomeness, until your just stuck in like this gigantasaurous huge cycle of awesome manifestations!
It would be wise to note here too though, that we are also a part of a collective consciousness. So, even though you have cleaned up your vibration enough not to directly experience something really tragic, you will still have your own personal experience of something you don’t like but just not in the most direct way. So, you wont be affected by it in the same way that others may be.
We have been brought up in a society, where we are taught to be strong, we are told to keep our chin up, to smile…etc. Telling our kids to toughen up, don’t be a cry baby…etc. All this does, is teach children that its wrong to feel our emotions..is it any wonder that we end up with adults who deny or avoid their negative emotions…numb their pain with the use of alcohol, drugs, overeating or other types of addiction. These people have been taught that this is how you deal with your pain..rather than sitting with it, allowing it, understanding it and then actually moving through it…not covering it up. That negative emotion is just popping up to say hi, to let you know that there is something in your subconscious, that is not serving you..it’s letting you know, your focused upon something unwanted. There is some shifting work to do here. Its an opportunity to release something. yay! how exciting that your anger about that thing that pissed you off earlier is just allowing something that is messing with your energy to come up, so it can be released. Your holding onto something that doesn’t resonate with your own true inner being. These emotions are helping you and they are only negative in as far as they are just a lesser better feeling emotion than the next one along the scale..no different to a negative number, like -1. So you could view , your frustration at something as -1 and your feeling of hope as a 1. Its a way of knowing, where you are at on the scale and then you can work at going up the scale.
When you don’t give those negative emotions your attention and you ignore them, they have the potential to turn into something a lot bigger. I am not saying to dwell on them either of course, as that defeats the whole purpose of using LOA to help you…but just to notice them without judgment and thank them for what they are. Sit with them for as long as you feel the need to and then shift your focus to how you would like to see things go. So, lets teach our kids, its okay to feel sad, its okay to feel angry. As a parent, myself, I have stopped telling my child to toughen up and don’t be sad… instead validating his emotions and helping him to be aware of them.
Now, over to you. Please share your thoughts in the comments below!